Twenty tiny fingers and twenty tiny toes. The softest skin, velvet to the touch. Thick dark hair, just like your mummy and daddy. So fragile, I can’t quite believe you’re real.
I never knew how deeply you could love another until you came into the world. How you could fill a hole that had been left glaringly empty for so many months now. How you could take hold of my heart with your minature hands and lift me to new heights of happiness.
On March 11 2015, Hettie and Bobby Jnr entered the world and changed our lives forever. Precious, beautiful and oh so perfect. Their little button noses and deep inquisitive eyes sent a shock through my body, waking me up to a feeling I thought I had lost. I was in love, totally head over heels in love.
And this overwhelming, gut-wrenching adoration I felt, I feel, has woken me up to the reality of what matters. Or rather, what doesn’t matter.
Things have gotten to me really. It’s gotten to me that people who were once my best friends have disappeared from my life now something better has come along (cough, a man, cough). It’s bothered me that 9 months down the line my heart still aches for someone who doesn’t deserve to be in my thoughts. It’s torn me apart that my own Mother can abandon her family with no remorse, none whatsoever.
Yet now? Now these angels have come along? Those things… they don’t seem so important.
What’s important is making sure those babies have the most incredible life, that they are always loved with 110% of my soul and that I can guide and inspire them into being the most fantastic people they can be.
What’s important is that these totally idyllic twins are a part of me. And they always will be.
“How wonderful life is now you’re in the world.”