Taking a step back.

Readers of this blog will notice i’ve been a bit absent the past week – well, since Christmas in fact.  As much as I have wanted to commit the time to turn this blog into the writing outlet I know it can be, I just haven’t been able to.  I want it to grow, I want it to reach more people, yet day after day I find it near enough impossible to just sit down and write.

It’s not for lack of inspiration.  I have a list as long as my arm of different ideas; I just do not have the time.  I do not have the energy.

Since I’ve returned to Italy, things have just sped up so so much.  Mornings slip into nights, weekdays fall into weekends and for the life of me I can barely grip on to take in the ride.

I don’t want to sit here and complain about it; the things that are happening, they’re good.  I’m already crossing off most of the things I’ve set myself to do this year. But (in typical Amber fashion) it’s all happening at the same time.

I’m out of the house 8:30am – 10:00pm with work and then Italian lessons.  I’m trying to squeeze in writing time for the Huffington Post, other publishers and my book when I get home.  I’m pushing myself to cook rather than just feast on a family pack of biscuits for my dinner.  I’m trying to socialise, meet new people.

But come on guys.  There are so many hours in a day.

So what’s the point in this post?  I guess I’m trying to reassure myself that it’s okay – some things are going to slip.  We can’t juggle the whole world and still come out bright eyed and bushy tailed.

The whole idea of this – of how we need to be a little kinder to ourselves – was actually the main theme behind my latest Huffington Post piece.  It was a piece I was proud of; really proud of in fact.  And this.  This is what I need to focus on.

I am achieving a lot over here… more so than I ever would back home.  I’m inspired every single day.  I’m at peace.  I’m really, really f**king happy.  And I truly believe it is shining through in the things I am doing.

So (after the rant) what I’m saying is… I will be back (said in an ominous voice obvs).  This blog is so important to me; it helped me through an incredibly difficult period of my life, and it continues to add a bit of clarity to all the madness.

And in summary, I thought I would post a few of the main points from the HP piece.  If you want to read the full article, you can find it here.

“Most of us can probably pinpoint the moment we stepped out of the blissfully unaware bubble to the self deprecating one. When nothing we do is quite good enough; when we struggle to celebrate our successes, constantly craving more.

For me, it really hit its dizzying heights when I started University. I’d always been harsh on myself, but this is when I started to put myself in unattainable situations. Because I was suddenly in a situation where my mind alone was never going to be good enough (and even that felt feeble compared to the public school educated kids around me); in a split second it was who you know, not what you know.”

“We are only human. We cannot function on a few hours sleep just so we can squeeze in that extra assignment, or that work proposal, or that research for the boss. We cannot live effectively on a diet of seeds and water and we certainly cannot live happily when we can’t appreciate our self-worth.”

Can we not just stop for a moment? Can we not try to realise that life is too short for this? Can we not accept that we are great at what we do and what we do is often too much?”

“If you want to go to bed at 10pm rather than wining with your friends, that’s totally okay. If you want to eat that extra slice of pizza, that’s even better. Too exhausted to write up that article because your day has been so damn long? That’s fine, grab a glass of vino and put on your pyjamas. You’ve earnt it.”

“Listen to your mind and listen to your body. If it’s telling you to stop, then stop. If it’s telling you to eat more sugar, eat it.

We live in a fast paced world full of deadlines, ridiculous body images and financial woes. For once, let’s just take a deep breath and clear our mind of it all. Make yourself the priority.”


BB x


2 thoughts on “Taking a step back.

  1. Woman, do you even realise how much you’ve achieved in the last year? And I don’t just mean with work, or dealing with personal circumstance or moving freakin countries – I mean you. Your personal growth. It’s astonishing and it’s inspiring. And you must be totally exhausted.

    Of course it’s ok to take a step back and give yourself some space. You don’t need to justify it to us (your blog readers! I like to keep an eye from a distance ;-))

    You are just the sort of person who will always strive for the best, always tell yourself off for not doing it all every day. But that’s not a bad thing, it’s your drive and your motivation and it’s wonderful. But god yes lady. Take your own advice and be kind to yourself xxx

    1. THIS! Thank you so much for your kind words lady… they actually brought a tear to my eye. It means a lot to know people I care about can see the change in me, and are happy for me!

      I honestly can’t thank you enough. You are amazing 🙂 xxx

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