Hey little monkey face,
Since the ho-mance is reaching new heights, I thought it was about time I dedicated a blog post to you. I struggle to believe you’ve only been in my life for 18 months… yet the thought of functioning a day without you makes me break out in a cold sweat. On a daily basis we will be communicating across erry single channel available; Instagramming old photos, posting adorable Buzzfeed lists on Facebook, gimpy tweets, Snapchats of our poop, whatsapp, text, email. Some call it stalking, I call it true love.
The thought of leaving you for Florence absolutely terrifies me. How am I meant to function without my other half, the ying to my yang, the bacon to my bap, the Simba to my Nala?
Because let’s not beat around the bush. This friendship is pretty special.
No one tells me to get my shit together like you do. No one gives me advice, cheers me up, makes me laugh uncontrollably. No one makes me realise what a bloody fool I’ve been. No one sings Let it go quite like you.
With just one single look I know exactly what you’re thinking (aka, those dicks in the relaxation room or the wet wipes in the steam room “I love Aussie shampoo I do!”). I could never, ever feel shame in front of you. I mean, come on. We poop together, we order pizza at 9 in the morning, we drink until our bodies no longer function. We share the most hideous of experiences, and revel in one another’s shocking behaviour. Damn it, we encourage it! BECAUSE DAT’S WHAT FWENDS DO.
For real I don’t know what I would do without you. You’ve made what could have been a pretty hideous time bladdy fabulous. And I will NEVER forget your sweet, sweet revenge (cough, fifa, cough).
I love how we were brought together through our shared hatred of life. The moment we both admitted how much we despised graduate living ended up a bit like this:
But, you know, it was totes worth it. Because look at us now. It can’t be a coincidence that we are both about to start off on our exciting new adventures at THE EXACT SAME TIME. Its fate, my prinny. Fate that our lives are destined to play out in unison until the moment are babies are born on the same day and grow up to be best fwends too.
So, what I guess I’m trying to say is, thank you for being the best friend a gal could ask for. Thanks for always being there for me, thanks for being just as obsessed with drag queens as me, thanks for loving food with the same fury as me, thank you for welcoming me into the family, thanks for being my blood sister (literally), thanks for being my partner in crime, my fellow booty shaking diva, my prinny from another minny, my agony aunt, my wifey.
And don’t you ever, ever change.
Luv Badger xx